I'm better now

I've had my first 'real' class with Dr. Intimidation, and as usual (get ready to be shocked here folks) I've probably overreacted. I really do like the way he teaches. I even spoke up in class a couple times, and he didn't tell me I was stupid once! We had to choose three stories in order of preference for our presentation. I chose Wuthering Heights, Hedda Gabler by Ibsen, and Stories from the Underground by Doesteyevsky (I think....) So if anyone has read these and has insights, don't be shy, let me know! Personally I hope I get Wuthering Heights, for a couple of reasons...1. I've read it before so I'm familiar with the work and 2. It's not slated to be presented on untill after spring break so I get to see how the others present their pieces and I get to put off doing it as long as possible =) Bonnie putting something off? No.....not me!! I'm the queen of promptness and punctuality...Now I'll take your leave before you choke on your beverage...

A Time for Reflection

I seem to be dwelling a lot on the past lately. Or my past keeps coming up to get me =) I spent a good amount of time yesterday talking to an old friend of mine, E. E and I dated when we were 16, and ended up becoming really great friends. We were roommates together when I moved back to Chicago, he stood up in my wedding with me, asked me to stand up is his (I had just had my son, was nursing and couldn't travel at that point =) ) That's the thing I miss the most about being here, my best friends are in Chi-town. There is nothing like a really old friend. They know everything there is to know about you, you don't have to explain things, they like your weirdness. It's like a pair of sneakers you've had forever, they just fit. The blog posting yesterday also got me to thinking, I've met most of the important people in my life over the internet. I met E. in one of those old text chatboards, I met J. through him. Let me tell you, if you ever need a drinking buddy and you are in Chicago, let me know. J. is the best drinking buddy :) (It also helps if you have a passion for mediocre cover bands) I met DH through ICQ. I think I love the internet just because I am so painfully shy in person. I just never say the 'right' thing, so usually end up saying nothing at all. That is of course until I get to know you and then you can't shut me up! My dad always used to tell me he should have named me Brooke, because I babble like one =P Oh and I've figured out what I like about getting older. I'm finally getting comfortable in my own skin. I'm a geek...not a techno geek, but a good old fashioned geek, I'm tubby (or fluffy or whatever term is P.C. today) and I don't mind. I'm never going to look like a model, my husband thinks I'm sexy and that's all that counts. Ok I do kind of wish that I didn't gain a majority of the weight in my tummy, cuz the perpetually pregnant look isn't the image I'm going for but I don't hate it enough to do crunches. Like I told my friend Wendy, until they make exercise bikes out of chocolate, I'm not buying. I'm smart, and I like it :) I'm going back to school, and this time I'm the idiot waving her hand and oh ohing at the teacher because I'm *proud* I know the answer. Hey for a while there I thought the pregnancy brain had evolved into permanent baby brain. If you remember the commercial that shows the woman wandering around with her infant all day, talking baby talk and later that night at the opera, she just can't stop, That's what I was turning into. That's another thing...I used to be this 'tough' chick. I didn't really cry, I was cynical, I was jaded (at least I thought I was) Then I had a baby and these wonderful things called hormones. Now two and a half years later I cry at hallmark commercials. I thought the hormones were supposed to go away!!! Oh and don't even come near me during PMS, I cry at *everything*! Songs, commercials, silly movies of the week. I try not to I just can't help it!! ARGH!!! And on that note I think I'll collect whatever shreds of sanity I still posses and move on :) One Last note (if you've managed to muddle through all this!!) I really enjoy the comments, so please feel free to leave em =)

Thinking....

I was reading a post in a blog from another member of a crossstitch board I read, and it started me to thinking. It was about temporary friends. I've had a lot of those. And I (much like the writer of the original post) tend to wonder what's wrong with me that people keep drifting away. I've come to the conclusion that it's not me. It's the fact that as close as we seem to get on others from the internet, we never truely know them. It's always easier to walk away from something that isn't in the physical world. It still hurts when it happens though. When I was young, my mom always used to tell me, "If they don't like you it's their loss." I always dismissed that as it was just mom drivel, but the older I get the more it strikes home. I am a nice person, with a worthwhile point of view. If someone doesn't want my friendship, that's fine. I do have friends who value me, I have a husband who adores me, and I'm pretty sure my two year old thinks I'm a god :) So I'm ok, you're ok, we're all ok!

Now I'm frightened...

I just got back from my Great Books class, and now I'm frightened...The professor has been teaching at the University since 1968. When you do the math...that's ten years before I was born. He just radiates intelligence, and intimidates the hell outta me =) I keep telling myself that if I wasn't qualified to be in the class, I wouldn't have been allowed to take it, but lemme tell ya I am frightened! Well that and the fact that a major chunk of my grade is based on a presentation. I *hate* standing in front of groups to speak. I can do one on one relatively well, but large groups terrify me. I can feel my whole face flush and I tend to stutter when I get really nervous. I tried taking Drama in high school, hoping it would help. It didn't really. When I was acting, it's like I was that character, so if the character embarrased themselves, it wasn't me. (how crazy is that?) Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated =)

silly me...

O.k. I think I've added all the nifties I wanted to =) Big thanks to Kay, since I was posted to most of the websites I used by her blog! Now I just have to wait for DH to get home, and class tonight, to see if I can center the skin. The ad peeking out of the top is really irritating me.

I was looking through my text for my great books class (Norton's Anthology Vol. II) and there was a passage from Madame Bovary in there. I started skimming and was actually interested! It surprises me because from what I remember of the 'classics' they bored me out of my skull. Since then I have stuck mainly to sci-fi and fantasy. Of course I'm re-reading Wuthering Heights right now and I'm interested in that (shrug). Also, as you can see I finally found a comments 'thingy' =) I'm excited about this expanding web knowledge! Of course it will really be impressive when I can design my own blog skin =) Watch out internet here I come!

changes...

In the process of making changes...please be patient while I update!

A schooling I will go :)

Well it's back to school time! Oddly enough (especially for a girl who goofed off as much as I did in high school!) I'm really happy. I only have one class for Mondays and Wednesdays, and it was the one I was dreading the most: Quantitative Methods in Psychology. How's that for intimidating? The professor is a masters probably going for her PHD., I think she's a first year too. She seems like a meek, shy churchmouse :) She only kept us for 15 minutes, to go over the syllabus, and said that most (if not all) the tests would be open book (yay!!) I think I'll enjoy her teaching, especially since I tend to be meek and shy with people I don't know either. So as usual, the class I was dreading the most, doesn't seem that bad. Now let's see how the class I'm looking forward to the most goes =) It starts tomorrow, and is called Great Books. I thought I would enjoy it because I devour books. My mom threatened to stop buying me books when I was 10 because I would read the whole thing in one sitting! I only hope that I can pass my love of reading on to my son. It has been such an important part of my life! It has helped me to escape, to dream and to reach for things I never thought possible. I don't think it will be a problem, as everyone on my side of the family loves reading. My DH isn't a big reader, but he agrees that it's something that is very important, and I know he will support me on this. In other news, I am trying to teach myself HTML. This excites DH to no end =) His passion is all that is computers, and I have never really shown a huge interest in it before. I told him that I found a primer on the web and he wanted to hand me his HTML Bible! I had to convince him that it would be slow going, especially with school starting again. It started because he bought me a domain. You can see its first pitiful incarnation here: . Very boring. I want to make both that and my blog more interesting, so it makes sense to have a basic knowledge of HTML. That and maybe if I can make an interesting website I can convince the hubby that I *need* a digi camera =) I make it sound like I need his permission, which isn't really true because I'm the family accountant, but it's always good to give him the illusion of control ;) (Just Kidding honey!!)