Ok, so I've been disappointed thinking that no one reads my blog. In a way that's fine because it's a catharsis for me, in another way it feels kind of crappy because it seems like no one cares. I also know I tend to be paranoid about stuff like this because I've always been the invisible girl. Oh well. I did my presentation. It did not go as well as I hoped. This was mainly my fault because I pushed it off until it was due, which happened to be the day that DS hurt his finger. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. I'm still disappointed because I really wanted to impress my teacher. He is a great guy and his opinion means a lot to me. I have to expand on the presentation for a paper due on Tuesday. I'm just going to buckle down and pray I do better =) It seems that all the people I'm closest to have been hiding things from me because they "don't want to upset me" It seems a little silly. I'm not made of glass. If I get upset, I'll get over it, that's the way life works. For instance, yesterday DH had a really rough day at work (kind of an ongoing situation, boss is a real jerk and takes it out on DH b/c he knows DH can't afford to quit.) He doesn't call me to talk about it because he's afraid I'll get upset. Money is really tight right now, and we are slowly starting to get in a semi-comfortable position from when he got laid off 3 years ago. Now he called my mom to talk about it, which is great! DH is a foster child, so I'm thrilled he's 'adopted' my mom and feels comfortable talking to her. I wish he would do the same for me. My mom also told me today that she had a job offer in Texas. She turned it down, but didn't want to tell me about it until she knew for sure what was happening, again so I wouldn't be upset. Now yea it would suck if she moved. We moved here so DS would be close to grandma, and they are the only people we know here. On the other hand, if that's what they needed to do, again that's life. It seems almost like they don't trust me. I am far from being made of glass =) I'm trying Flylady (again) for the 4 billionth time. My inherently skeptical nature just does not let me believe that shining my sink will lead to a friendly clutter free abode. I need a brain transplant =) Well it's late and I'm starting to mistype everything so to bed I go!

:(~~~~

I'm such a bad mommy :( My poor baby cut his finger, badly. We were in the kitchen and I turned my back and he grabbed a butcher knife. Not just any old knife but a big old butcher knife. So a trip to the ER and two stitches later we're back home. (you say two stitches is no big deal, he's two, his fingers aren't that big). I feel awful...

Argh!

Why is it that whenever I sit down to write something, I get writers wall? I have been trying to write a commentary on Ibsen's Hedda Gabler, I know what I want to say and I can't get it out. I'm also trying to quit smoking and the only thing that is going through my head is "I want a cigarette" DH is also trying to quit, and we had a huge fight this morning. So what do I do? I get cigarettes, and now I hate myself for it. It's one of those head banging against a wall problems.